It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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