wake up i wanna do it froggy style
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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