I checked into jail on foursquare
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
