No, drunk sperm still make babies.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize