Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
