I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
