I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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