I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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