he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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