so let's talk penis.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
