The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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