Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
