That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
