If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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