I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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