Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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