Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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