can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize