I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
