What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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