he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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