I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize