it was like his penis was on wheels.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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