More tranny stories later!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
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