So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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