my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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