Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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