i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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