Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I've blown a few things in my day
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
