that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
