Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
