i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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