he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
