cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so let's talk penis.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She made me pour olive oil on her.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
