that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
