i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
