we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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