his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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