he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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