is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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