Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize