i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
