at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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