we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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