AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
