you win again, gameday.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Houston, we have a squirter
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
