I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
