its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
