Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Less talking, more tequila
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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