I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
