And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
