i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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