They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
