God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I love you. Go after that dick
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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