He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
