i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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