What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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