wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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