Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
