I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
