Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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