you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
