Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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