it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
