Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
